Year: 2008

  • Grape Pie

    Concord GrapesI just finished the last piece of my grape pie. For those of you who have never experienced it, Concord Grape Pie may be the most special treat of the fall season. The hearty taste of concord grapes are sweetened with just enough sugar to let you know that you’re eating dessert (although I have been known to serve it for breakfast as well). I thought I would share the recipe with all of you so you too could partake in Concord Grape Pie goodness.

    We all know that a good pie starts with a good crust. I like to keep the crust on my grape pie simple to prevent the pie from being too rich. Here’s how I do it:

    Cut together 2 cups of flour (1 whole wheat and 1 white) with 1 cup of shortening.
    Add 1 egg, 1 Tbsp vinegar
    Add about 5 Tbsp of water with a fork (fork keeps it fluffy)
    Roll out the crust on a floured surface. This recipe makes 2 crusts, and the grape pie only uses a bottom crust so save the 2nd for another pie or make some cinnamon pinwheels with it.
    Lay the crust in a pie plate and sprinkle it with sugar and milk.
    The crust does not need to be pre-baked for a grape pie, but if you ever want to use this for another pie that needs a pre-baked crust, you can bake a single crust of this at 450F for 10-12 minutes. Poke some holes in it before baking to keep it from bubbling.

     

    As for the good stuff, preheat the oven to 400F and gather up 4 cups of clean fresh concord grapes (that’s about 2 dry quarts or 1 1/2lbs).

    Slip the skins from the grapes, setting the skins aside. If you don’t know how to slip a skin, it’s simple. Squeeze the little bastards until the pulp and seeds pop out where the stem was attached. It’s fun and the kids can help (but the grapes do stain).

    Throw the pulp with seeds into a sauce pan and bring it to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, for 5 minutes.
    Transfer the pulp to a sieve or colander with small holes to strain out the seeds. You may have to mush the pulp through the holes with a spoon – don’t waste any pulp, just get those nasty little seeds out. Once you are done, add the skins to the pulp.

    Mix 1 cup of sugar, 1/3 cup of flour (white) and 1/4 tsp of salt. To the dry mixture add 1 Tbsp lemon juice, 2 Tbps melted butter, and the grape pulp/skin mixture. Pour all of this into the unbaked pie crust in the pan. Bake it at 400F for 25 minutes.

    Meanwhile, sift together 1/2 cup of flour and 1/2 cup of sugar. Cut in 1/4 cup of butter until crumbly. Sprinkle atop the pie and bake it for another 15 minutes.

    I like grape pie chilled with Cool Whip (but it is also good warm with Vanilla ice cream).

    I am working on variations to the pie. I am thinking of making a thin peanut butter pie with the grape filling on top – peanut butter and jelly pie. What do you think? Do you have other creative uses for Concord grapes? Let me know in the comments.

  • Updates

    So I have updated this site with a new theme, some new widgets and plugins, and some photos. I hope to start actually using it as life slows down a bit. I got a job offer today, and am following up on a few more options that should lead to offers very soon.

  • Another Installment of Maybe I Can Help

    Apparently the cops in Lebanon, PA need some help this time.  Apparently, “they have no idea why [the man] was in the toilet with his clothes off.”  Maybe I can help.  Here’s some idears to get them started.

    1.) He was hot as balls.  I mean, it was really hot up there in PA this weekend.  As a mud bath is to a pig, so is a poo-plunge to a man.  Keeping poo from the skin with a layer of clothing only defeats the cooling effect.

    2.) He was drunk.  Everyone knows that drunks crave comfort.  I am always more comfortable without clothes, especially when I am hot.  And drunk.

    3.) Poo-ing with clothes on is bothersome.  I have never been able to poo when clothed – I just can’t get comfortable.  That is why I poo nowhere but my own house – an affliction that makes road trips, visits to the grandparent’s house, and work so very difficult for me.  This poor fella must have suffered from the same condition.  I suspect that the devil-water gave him the confidence needed to poo in a place other than his own home.  Porta-potties have always lacked hooks to hand your trousers when you poo, and who wants to put them on the nasty sticky floor?  He probably just sat them on the bench and knocked them into the pit as he contortioned his body to reach a poorly placed roll of T.P. 

    And when you are hot and drunk and needing to get your pants before anybody realizes that you can’t poo while clothed the only reasonable thing to do is go in and get em.  Comeon folks – We’ve all been there.  Let’s not spend too long noodling through this pot of soup.

    Bonus feature:  How I Help

    From time to time I like to offer insight into how it is that I came to know things.  Today’s hint: Draw on past experience.

  • Maybe I Can Help

    Seeing as how my give-a-damn is busted, and I just don’t have enough energy to write substantive content, I hereby announce a new I Know Things Series: Maybe I Can Help.  I am always amazed at the stupid things the people struggle to figure out – and pay other people to figure out for them.  Kinda like the official studies of why prisoners want to escape from prison.  Really?  You had to commission a study to work through that one?  Maybe I can help….

    The first installment comes from here: https://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN2634668020080526?sp=true.  It seems that Mexico has a shark problem and the Mexican Navy is trying to help out.  Fair enough – the ocean’s got a people eating shark, the Navy has guns (or harpoons or something that could kill a shark) – seems like a no brainer.  But read to the last sentence: “The Ixtapa-Zihuatanejo government is consulting with experts to determine what could be causing the attacks.” 

    Maybe I can help: Hungry Sharks.  Shoot em & move on.

  • Life

    The unexamined life is not worth living.
    Socrates, in Plato, Dialogues, Apology
    Greek philosopher in Athens (469 BC – 399 BC)
    The examined life is just damn frustrating.
    Me, in my head, today, at the office
    Average guy in Virgina (1978 – ???)